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Sobering Thought

An Online Community for Substance Addicts

Dating Someone In Recovery

Submitted by Matt C on Wed, 04/26/2006 - 15:28.

Hello All,

I am writing for advice. I have been dating this extraordinarily sweet, cute and smart boy for just over a month now. Things are going slowly, which is wonderful, but there is an added element that I have never dealt with before--he is in recovery. I have had glimpses into what his addiction(s) entailed, but haven't delved into the subject with him fully. There are a couple of reasons for this, but mainly I haven't discussed with him my substance use. I drink alcohol and smoke weed, and don't know how to bring this up to him. I want to be honest about it and fear rejection. Is it unreasonable for me to think that he could accept my usage of these substances? Is it rude and inconsiderate to have a drink around him as he's gone through AA? I am not looking for you all to solve my situation, but rather to give me a starting off point for the dialogue that I need to engage in with him.

Can I be a pot smoker and be with someone who's a recovering addict on several levels? I want to do anything that I can in order to give this relationship a chance because dating in San Francisco is a lot like banging your head against a rock. Some advice would be greatly appreciated :)

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