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Sobering Thought

An Online Community for Substance Addicts

casual, maybe

Submitted by FoggyMess on Thu, 02/02/2006 - 14:11.

It hit me this morning when I got a nose bleed from brushing my teeth- I may not be a casual user any more. I get high on something just about every night. A little drunk, stoned, pills, amped... what ever. I keep a job and I'm young enought not to show any signs so you would not be able to tell by looking at me- I use that fact to fool myself in to beileving that everything is ok. I want to stop now, at this moment, but when a line is offered or I'm at a party my choice changes- I use again. I feel my mind slipping, my body suffering and my heart hurting from years of 'casual use' but the will to change escapes me.
I read on here about people who keep coming back to using and have hit bottom... I feel like I'm going down that path ... a direct path to hitting bottom. I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure if I want to do it.

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