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Sobering Thought

An Online Community for Substance Addicts

to accept love

Submitted by sickntired on Sun, 01/29/2006 - 00:06.

Today after about 100 days clean and sober and not having had too many cravings, I was "this" close to using. And all because of three little letters: s-e-x. Actually, if I dug deeper, I'd have to say it was because of boredom. And if I dug deeper still, I'd recognize that it was really due to loneliness, a condition I'm beginning to understand and believe results from a "faulty" spiritual connection. And for me, a formerly avowed, almost rabid, agnostic, to say that is amazing indeed. My story is not unlike many others who got caught on the meth merry-go-round and didn't think they could get off. Same story, different details. I've discovered that to keep from using, meetings help. Stuffing my self-will and pride in a garbage bag and taking it to the dump is also required. Honesty is essential. And that connection with a "higher power," that which is greater than ourselves and connects us to each other with a loving, positive force is the ingredient without which the entire recipe fails. I hate to think of the place I'd be now if I had not accepted the love and help of my brother and sister-in-law who came to rescue me from a metaphorical burning building and delivered me to treatment initiating my healing process. I am a lucky person.

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