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Cleaning this house

Submitted by amymarie on Fri, 07/14/2006 - 10:28.

Well I am staring face to face my problems that have always just "been" a part of me. Things I never realized I could change. The things about me that I blamed on you and you and you. Now I have custody of them and there is nothing to do but change...slowly.

I like to be a perfectionist(I have just realized) and I am trying to "fix" all of my broken traits right now...*snap*. So I am going to try to not be that perfectionist today and just work on one thing at a time, one day at a time.

And it really does get better

Submitted by amymarie on Mon, 07/10/2006 - 07:43.

So as I previously stated, Love is a drug...
But yesterday I took the advice (or suggestions rather) of my friends and my sponsor and I didn't call or text or have any contact...and guess what!
I didn't die. In fact I found productive activities (service work and meetings etc) to fill my time. I really didn't think it would be so easy, but in fact it was.

I feel wonderful today. I feel hopeful that I will learn new behaviors and continue to stay clean and learn to stay centered. It will take time, but I have that. I have plenty of that.

Love is a drug- period.

Submitted by amymarie on Fri, 07/07/2006 - 09:36.

Today I am numb. I am afraid to feel what is brewing inside. I met and fell into someone before I was in a safe place internally to do so. I met someone and lied to him. I met him and led him to believe that my recovery path was much more advanced than it really was. I relapsed 3 weeks ago because my life was unmanagable. And to ease my pain I began obsessing over lots of things- but mainly him.

'OLD FRIENDS'

Submitted by gabby on Wed, 06/21/2006 - 17:14.

SO i screwed up the other day, met up with some old friends.Figuried we hang out,well let it be know we did more then hang out.I didnt care to 'party' but when it got put in my face i couldnt say no.sad part Iwas doing great for a while til Isaw them.I thought i could handle being around them. guess not. so I felt like crap for about a week then decided not to feel sorry 4 myself anymore,and learn

Tick Tock...

Submitted by amymarie on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 09:19.

I hate waiting for something good to happen...When I plan an event time seems to drip by...
I know I should fill that space in between with life, but man when I want what I want, I want it now.
I am going to Mississippi for an NA river float next weekend and will get to spend time with my sweetie. He lives in Louisiana and I live in Texas- so it is quite the trip. He will also be meeting my children on this trip so there is even more reason to anticipate.

feeling again

Submitted by amymarie on Thu, 06/01/2006 - 11:17.

I have not used drugs in quite awhile...since September 5 2005...but I have substituted with many other obsessions. Now I am working some steps in NA, hanging out with some clean people and moving my life forward and DAMN it feels good.
I am in love...
not just with another person (although I truly truly am), but with myself as well...
It is new, it is positive and it is clean and pure. I don't know of a time in my life when I could push through bad times and still feel happy during it...but today I can and I do...

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Submitted by amymarie on Thu, 06/01/2006 - 10:49.

It is raining and the thunder is deafening- funny that I feel alive when this weather comes to town. It used to be a good reason to get messed up, but now it seems to be a good reason to not.
I am new here and feel a little insecure, but I am assuming it'll pass just like all the other messed up upside down thinking does...an eventual change.
I have forced myself to write outloud here and it feels pretty good.

Dating Someone In Recovery

Submitted by Matt C on Wed, 04/26/2006 - 15:28.

Hello All,

I am writing for advice. I have been dating this extraordinarily sweet, cute and smart boy for just over a month now. Things are going slowly, which is wonderful, but there is an added element that I have never dealt with before--he is in recovery. I have had glimpses into what his addiction(s) entailed, but haven't delved into the subject with him fully. There are a couple of reasons for this, but mainly I haven't discussed with him my substance use. I drink alcohol and smoke weed, and don't know how to bring this up to him. I want to be honest about it and fear rejection. Is it unreasonable for me to think that he could accept my usage of these substances? Is it rude and inconsiderate to have a drink around him as he's gone through AA? I am not looking for you all to solve my situation, but rather to give me a starting off point for the dialogue that I need to engage in with him.

To Tweak or Not To Tweak

Submitted by apollogroove on Tue, 02/07/2006 - 22:33.

This is not exactly my story, but it is true to my experience: an
undated Shakespeare for the 21st Century Tweaker: using, sober, in relapse, or in between.
Hope ya like it, maybe can identify! ;O)

_____________________________________________

To Tweak or Not to Tweak?
[With apologies to William Shakespeare:]

To tweak, or not to tweak; - that is the question: -
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

Choices

Submitted by brady on Fri, 02/03/2006 - 13:59.

What inspires me to make the choice everyday to not use crystal meth? Today, it was the walk I had with my mom up in Napa. We walked after of course watching Regis and Kelly & The View. Our conversation topics
ranged from: (1) The results of our favorite show last night – Project Runway, (2) my job search, (3) my excitement of finishing my documentary and (4) how great
it feels to have a second/third/fourth chance at life.

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